Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I still have a little drunk in my system
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
