Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
