69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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