She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
