it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I think my fart just growled at me.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
