what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
