hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Can Purell be used as lube?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I think my moral compass just broke
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize