The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
