I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize