And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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