she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
