absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Randomize
