never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize