I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Dick very happy bro
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