Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
