Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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