you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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