did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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