he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
