You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize