Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
