I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Randomize
