he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
