In the future we'll all be gay
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
