sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
