Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
