Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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