So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
