I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize