Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
