Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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