hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We have started to decorate penises.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Drunk is not a location!
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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