He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
