the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
