The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
