i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize