I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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