I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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