i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
When are your genitals available?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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