There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
