He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Randomize
