I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
