I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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