make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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