please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize