I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize