I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
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