I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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