How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
