Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
