I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
