I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
