how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
