dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
