I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
