I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize