So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
