you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
