She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
