her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Two words: nipple clamps
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