what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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