Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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