Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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