Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
