i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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