Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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