you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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