She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
