3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
