Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize