My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
