if i died would you start the facebook group?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
