I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
