She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
We have started to decorate penises.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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