He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
