What a fucking waste of an outfit
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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