I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
