I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize