Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
