he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize