so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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