I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
