I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
